Divorce and Remarriage
Note: To properly understand the position of the writer please read the author's message "To The Reader".
[12.1]
An Ounce Of Prevention
The best way to deal with problems is to confront them before they confront you. There can be little doubt that divorce has become a plague upon the land and the world. Often this sinful plague is brought about by a misconception of the meaning of love. Children enter into marriage carelessly. They are deceived into believing that fleshly passion, and love, is the same thing. Even our modern expressions have come to endorse this reasoning. Instead of engaging in intercourse, we "make love" as though two bodies in sexual motion produce a product known as love. We're not love producing machines. When we engage in these activities we produce babies. When we produce babies before the God ordained time, we frequently enter into a marriage covenant with one who is not our God ordained partner with the end result all too often being divorce.
[12.2]
The Tough Questions
We need to better prepare our teenage children for the road ahead by training them up in the ways of the Lord. We must teach them the importance of not being unequally yoked together with unbelievers. Perhaps the best place to start is by not assuming that our son or daughter is a believer. We must ask ourselves the tough questions about them. Because they claim to know Christ, believe He lived, died and rose again does not make them Christians. Because they attend church doesn't make them Christians, either. Do they live their lives daily for the Lord? Is He the very heart of their lives? Do they meet the standard set in first John, chapter two, verses three and four?
1 John 2:3-4
3 And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments.
4 He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.
[12.3]
We need to make them understand that unlike what Hollywood teaches, people don't fall in love, they fall in lust. People don't fall in love like some accidental thing that happened unexpectedly, but rather people learn to love. There must be qualities about an individual that create a motive to love. Honesty, loyalty, gentleness, kindness, diligence, etc, are but a few reasons to extend to another your gift of love. If there are few reasons to love, the attraction is most likely born of lust; a trap of Satan, set to destroy each of those involved.
[12.4]
When explaining the difference to a young man you may find it easier to relate a story to him that illustrates the difference, like this one:
[12.5]
The Morning Rose
In the quiet oasis of peace found in a metropolitan park, two mature male visitors could be found admiring the early morning beauty of the flowers displayed beside the many scenic walkways which crisscrossed through the park's expanse. Each morning, about an hour after dawn, you would find the first elderly man making his way slowly down one of the paths, stopping from time to time to appreciate the beauty of one or more of the various varieties of flowers found there.
[12.6]
About half an hour later, the second senior citizen would enter and though he usually followed a different path, his activity was much the same as the first. On one occasion, shortly after a brief morning rain had given way to the golden summer sun, the first gentleman could be seen admiring one particular rose. This fresh, new bloom had captured the morning sun in such a way as to make it seem almost beyond beauty. A single drop of moisture was delicately balanced on one of its ruby red petals and it sparkled like the prisms of a diamond. The visitor was captivated. He studied the flower for a long moment as though inhaling all its beauty. He bent down to smell its sweet, fresh fragrance and then backing up a few feet, took a picture, he then turned slowly and walked away. Shortly after he had vanished out of sight, the second admirer appeared and as if rehearsed, did the same thing with one exception. Unlike his predecessor he, after taking a picture, bent down and gently snipped the stem of the flower; removing it. He then carefully carried it to his home and placed it in a beautiful vase where he could admire it for several days. It is obvious that both men cared for the flower, but which man do you think cared for the flower most?
[12.7]
The answer should be obvious. The first. The second man cared for it enough to possess it but the first cared more. He cared enough not to molest or possess it but to allow it to take its normal course and live in uncompromised freedom on the mantel of his heart.
[12.8]
As men, we too, can love someone enough to want to share their beauty with none other. We can want to keep this special someone all to ourselves, to possess their sweetness and fragrance even at the expense of hurting them. Such love is selfish and self-serving. Real love gives instead of taking. Real love puts the object of the love ahead of self-gratification, it offers freedom rather than captivity.
[12.9]
The Sealed Message
A similar talk might also be appropriate for a young lady going through puberty. Perhaps you might tell her a tale about the medieval days of kings and queens, princes and princesses. In those days, when a member of the royal house desired to send a message of love to their loved one, they sealed their message with wax bearing the emblem of the one sending it. A courier was then commissioned to deliver the message but if the seal were broken, indicating that someone else had read it, the messenger could be executed. The message sent was intended for only that special one for whom it was intended and no one else. God sends his daughters as messages of love to His sons. He has placed His seal on each daughter intending each seal to be broken only by the intended receiver. This secret, personal gift is meant to be received by that one special person God has selected, to be broken by another would be to rob the intended recipient of a God given and God intended privilege.
[12.10]
The gift of Christ's love toward us was sealed in His blood. The gift of a woman’s love for her chosen mate, is sealed in the same way. If we, as parents, will teach our children the meaning of love and the importance of a Christian marriage, perhaps the number of divorces which now soil the body of Christ (the church) will begin to diminish.
[12.11]
The Spiritual Image
Marriage is a living allegory of Christ and His church. It provides us with an understanding of the relationship He has chosen to have with His spiritual bride, the church. For the church to abandon Christ would be almost as unthinkable as it would be for Christ to separate Himself from the church. If our hope of salvation rests in the Lord, then all would be lost if we were to be separated from Him. But He has made the vow never to leave or forsake us.
Hebrews 13:5
5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
[12.12]
Many today forsake Him and break their covenant with Him, bringing upon themselves the judgment of God and their destruction. Likewise, the human, legal, moral and spiritual bonds of marriage carry with them consequences when violated. Especially when that violation comes as a result of adultery. God has clearly stated that what He has joined together no man should separate.
Matthew 19:6
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
[12.13]
What God Has Not Joined
We read in the scriptures that we must not be unequally joined together.
2 Corinthians 6:14
14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
[12.14]
Being joined to an unbeliever is not God's will, but too often, we find that like disobedient children, we ignore His will and instead seek our own. Instead of seeking a mate inside the household of faith, we allow our eyes to wander outside; we become joined in a union that God has not ordained. We are very willing to read the lips of our prospective mate when they claim to be a Christian but blind ourselves to their actions. As Christians, we know that we must not marry outside the family of God, but we allow ourselves to be deceived. When the object of our affection claims to be a Christian, we accept the claim without question instead of looking honestly at their life. We want who we want and we convince ourselves that our mate will change for the better later. Rather than follow God's word, we disobediently follow our own rebellious heart. We become unequally yoked in marriage and wonder why we have so many problems with our mate. Often we blame God. Is this His fault or ours? Because God has not sanctioned such a union, however, does not mean we, as Christians, are free from its responsibilities.
1 Corinthians 7:12-14
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
[12.15]
For as long as our unbelieving mate chooses to remain with us we must model Christ before them; for the rest of our lives if necessary. We cannot indeed; we must not cast off our mate as a worn out or poor fitting pair of shoes.
[12.16]
When Only One Gets Saved
Often two young, unsaved people will be joined in marriage by a justice of the peace or some other legal entity. Later, one member of the couple will find salvation and begin to walk in Christ, while the other continues to sin and to regard the other's relationship with Christ as a threat. Often, the redeemed partner's decision to follow Christ will bring such violent conflict into the home that it threatens the marriage itself. Sometimes, the unbelieving partner presents the mate with an ultimatum; "Choose Christ or me." When the believing mate fails to surrender Christ, the unbeliever may choose to leave the home and marriage behind (Matthew 10:34-36). What then? What happens to the abandoned Christian mate? Will they, after enduring suffering to remain faithful to Christ, now be forced to spend the rest of their life in solitary exile? Do they have the opportunity to marry again and begin anew the right way, or do they remain under the bondage of their pagan union? Thank God that old things are passed away and that all things become new. We are free, free to do things His way.
2 Corinthians 5:17
17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
1 Corinthians 7:15
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
[12.17]
We read in Mark, the tenth chapter and ninth verse, "What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." We must take this admonition seriously, but we must also realize that there are many marriages that God did not put together, those in which God had no part at all. Marriages where neither husband or wife were part of God's kingdom. If we understand the above scripture correctly, we must not be involved in any way with hindering a marriage among believers, especially our own. But we are, of course, only speaking of Christian partners joined in marriage by God, not marriages among the unsaved.
[12.18]
What about marriage unions among non-Christians; those that God has not joined together? If men can not destroy God inspired marriages, marriages that God has put together, what about marriages that men have put together, those made among unbelievers? The scriptures say nothing about men not putting these asunder. We can expect nothing from unbelievers but conduct common to unbelievers. Many are shocked when they read in context, 1 Corinthians 7:10-15, especially verse fifteen. We're speaking here of marriages unsanctioned by the Lord; a marriage put together by man, not God. Should we be surprised to find that different rules apply? If we're married when we find Christ, let us not put away our unsaved partners but rather, live the Christian life before them and our children in the hope that they also may be won by our reflection of Christ, but if our mate chooses instead to leave, we may let go. God does not, in this case, bind us to them. We are free to begin a new life in Christ according to His word.
1 Corinthians 7:15
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
[12.19]
What Kind Of Sin Is This?
Is the sin of a failed marriage greater than other sins? We read that there are many sins which may keep us from entering God's kingdom.
Ephesians 5:5
5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Revelation 21:8
8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
[12.20]
We must conclude that this refers to the unrepentant, if not, then we are all headed to the lake of fire. I am confident that God forgives all unrighteousness, even divorce.
I John 1:9
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
[12.21]
If we believe that the murderer should kill no more, the thief, steal no more, the liar, lie no more the homosexual and adulterer no longer be engaged in fornication, then should we not also believe that those guilty of being unequally yoked, be allowed to correct their sin? The unpardonable sin is not failed marriage but blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. If this is so, then why do we forever fail to pardon those who fall into this particular snare of the devil? We'll forgive the murderer, thief, liar and even the fornicator as long as he or she was not married, but if they fornicated and felt guilty enough to try to make it right through marriage and fail, we punish them by holding their sin before them for a lifetime and then make them second class citizens of God's kingdom.
[12.22]
If a young converted woman enters the church fellowship confessing she had multiple affairs but remained single, we'll forgive her and allow her to enter into a Christian marriage. If a young, divorced woman comes who had only one affair and married the man she had the affair with, we exile her as though she had spiritual leprosy and, in some churches, deny her the right to share her life with another. Her husband may even have divorced her against her will so that he could run off with another woman, but she'll pay the price and bear the shame, we'll see to that! Consider the attitude of Christ in the following text.
John 8:1-11
1 Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.
2 And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.
3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
[12.23]
Sexual intercourse is an act of marriage therefore; anyone who has engaged in this activity is married to the one with whom they have shared this with. Compare the two verses below:
1 Corinthians 6:16
16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
[12.24]
When Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well and gave her living water, did He condemn her or simply acknowledge that He knew her sin? Did he say that she should return to her first husband (John 4:1-42)? Jesus showed compassion to both this woman and the woman taken in adultery, isn't it about time we did the same? Brethren, after reading the verse below, you may not want to throw stones.
Matthew 5:28
28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
[12.25]
Death And Divorce
Many believe that women who have been divorced by their husbands should never marry again. In many countries, the laws permit a man to divorce his wife without her permission. Such is the case in the United States where either party can obtain a divorce without consent of the other.
[12.26]
This leaves us with two completely different situations; first, we have party (A) divorcing party (B) by mutual agreement. Then, we have party (A) who has been divorced by party (B) against their will. We must once again remind ourselves that fornication is the only justifiable reason for divorce in the eyes of God, all else is man made and the scriptures say "What God has joined together let no man put asunder (Mark 10:9). We must see first that while God respects all marriages between men and women, He does not sanction all marriages. The couple entering into the marriage must both be believers; they must not be unequally yoked, believer with unbeliever. Civil marriages, those made by the state, on behalf of couples unequally yoked, are clearly outside of God's will. Divorce for any reason other then fornication is outside of God's will. God then, clearly doesn't recognize any reason for divorce other than infidelity, but He does recognize divorce for this reason, whether we like it or not!
Matthew 5:31-32
31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
[12.27]
If a married man has a sexual affair with a woman who is not his wife and then chooses to divorce his wife to be joined to this woman, where does this leave his wife? What is she guilty of? Why would God choose to punish her or her children by denying her a husband and the children a father? If she is the victim, why punish her? The scriptures instruct young widows to marry rather than fall prey to lustful temptation and separation from God.
1 Timothy 5:11-14
11 But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry;
12 Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith.
13 And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.
14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
[12.28]
Are widows less able to control their sexual appetites then the divorced? If a young widow is vulnerable to this type of tempting, then young divorced women are also vulnerable. Does God punish the abandoned wife while protecting the widowed? Is He a respecter of persons (Acts 10:34). Would God favor children who have lost a father through death by allowing them to have another father and then deny a father to children who have been abandoned? Is the death of a husband or wife more painful than one lost to infidelity and divorce? Since when is it the practice of Jesus to punish the innocent? We've seen the cruel results of church judgment upon those already beaten up and trodden down by the emotional torment of a broken marriage. I have heard it said that Christians are the only people who shoot their wounded; may God have mercy on us all.
[12.29]
God Hates Divorce
God hates divorce. No one enters into marriage with the intention of getting a divorce unless they're perverted or mentally deficient. God hates divorce, men and women hate divorce and children hate divorce. If this is so, then why do we have so many broken families?
[12.30]
Many today feel their hormones jumping and think its love. Many think they're in love when they're simply in heat. Love has little to do with the flesh. The flesh only provides us with a way of expressing it. Love has everything to do with the heart and the Spirit of the one it's directed toward. See 1 Corinthians, chapter thirteen for a complete definition of love; read it carefully and completely. See if it includes anything about sex, i.e. making love.
[12.31]
What Is Divorce?
In the Old Testament Hebrew dictionary, divorce or divorced is described as (Strong's #1644 Hebrew-gerash) to drive out from a possession, espec. To expatriate or divorce-cast up (out), divorced (woman), drive away (forth, out), expel x surely put away, trouble, thrust out.
[12.32]
In the New Testament Greek Dictionary, divorce or divorced is described as (Strong's #630 Greek-apluo) to free fully i.e. (lit) relieve, release, dismiss (refl. Depart), or (fig) let die, pardon or (spec.) divorce- (let) depart, dismiss, divorce, forgive, let go, loose, put (send) away, release, set at liberty.
[12.33]
From this, one can plainly see that whether defining it in ancient Hebrew, Greek or today's English, divorce is still divorce. Being cut off from ones mate was divorce both in the old and New Testament. When the Holy Spirit through Paul spoke of God's rejection, His cutting off in Romans 11:22, is He not speaking of divorce? In Hebrews, the sixth chapter, verses four through six and again in chapter ten, verses twenty six and seven, are we not viewing a spiritual divorce from God?
Romans 11:22
22 Behold therefore the goodness and severity of God: on them which fell, severity; but toward thee, goodness, if thou continue in his goodness: otherwise thou also shall be cut off.
Hebrews 6:4-6
4 For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost,
5 And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come,
6 If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.
Hebrews 10:26-27
26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,
27 But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.
[12.34]
True, God hates divorce, loving parents hate spanking their children, but sometimes it's necessary. Parents hate spanking but they spank, God hates divorce, but He divorces and if you think this is in error check Jeremiah 3:8 and see what happened to Israel when she behaved as a spiritual harlot. God used divorce to punish adultery then and He hasn't changed His mind about adultery in marriage today.
Jeremiah 3:8
8 And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
[12.35]
The Exception To The Rule
In Matthew five, verses thirty-one and two, Jesus recalls the Old Testament practice of divorce but corrects our thinking on this matter. He says that any man who puts away his wife causes her to commit adultery. He goes on to explain that any man who marries her commits adultery. It's about time we took a hard look at what He is saying and teaching here.
[12.36]
When a Christian couple has separated over a variety of differences (not including fornication) there still remains the possibility for reconciliation and reunion. If this process lingers too long one partner or the other may fall into temptation and be overtaken by sexual sin. If this happens, both the offending mate and their new sexual partner commit adultery. It makes no difference whether she or he has a legal letter of divorce or not because a higher authority is in effect; the authority of God and He recognizes no divorce except for the reason of fornication.
[12.37]
There is only one act which can separate a man permanently from God; blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and there is only one act that can, in God's eyes, separate marital partners permanently and we may call it infidelity, unfaithfulness, fornication or adultery, but it all means the same. The end result is the termination or death of the marital covenant. The offended partner is free from any further obligation to honor the union and this freedom includes re-marriage. The offended partner is released to find and seek God's will. They are free to remain single or free to marry. Each of us has been given a special gift, some to remain single and dedicated to Christ and others to marry and serve Him. The gifts of God are never taken away therefore, if God intended marriage for a man or woman, even though divorce took place, that gift remains.
1 Corinthians 7:7
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
Romans 11:29
29 For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance.
[12.38]
As hard as this may be for some to accept, let us remember that at one time we were all married to sin. Sin was our first love but now we are espoused to another and He has received us without regard for our past; He has washed us in His blood and is prepared to dress us in white robes. He is even now preparing a home for us that where He is we may be also.
[12.39]
When God divorced Israel, He found another bride, the church, and is now, in this present age, betrothed to her. This may be difficult for many to accept after years of teaching and practicing to the contrary, but it doesn't change the truth of it.
[12.40]
Self-Righteous Persecution
For many years now the church has persecuted, humiliated and denied the rights of many innocent and repentant believers who needed comfort and compassion but instead received only denial and condemnation. The only crime that many were guilty of was that of being the victim of their mate's adulterous relationships. God also became the victim of an adulterous relationship, shall we now deny Him the right to remarry? Be careful how you answer this, your very salvation may depend on it. If we do, we'll have to deny our own claim on His kingdom; our claim to being His betrothed, His church.
[12.41]
What About The Offenders?
There are those who have left the marriage bed to pursue an immoral relationship with another, what about them? To all who would condemn these faithless individuals, we can only say, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone" (John 8:3-11).
[12.42]
Let us remember that neither the murmuring crowd nor Christ condemned the woman taken in adultery. If He didn't condemn her, then who are we to condemn anyone who has repented and confessed their sin before God? If one enters today's church with a wicked past having stolen, cheated, lied, taken drugs or committed acts of violence, we do our best to assure them of the forgiveness that awaits them in Christ. If one is homosexual, bisexual, transsexual or has prostituted himself or herself, he or she may drink the waters of forgiveness but if any married person guilty of betraying their spouse comes speaking to repent some are ready to deny forgiveness and restoration. We need to pay particular attention to the word all in First John, chapter one, verse nine. We should also ask ourselves if we’re qualified to cast the first stone.
1 John 1:9
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
We should at this point, review and remember a text in scripture that speaks to each of us about such judgment.
Matthew 7:2
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
[12.43]
If Paul, who persecuted the very body of Christ (the church) was made an Apostle in that same body, how can we deny any biblically recognized spiritual ministry to any man or woman? If we see a transformed life, the manifestation of the Holy Spirit in that life and the gifting of that same Spirit, can we deny any repentant soul the work for which God has equipped them?
[12.44]
When a liar meets a cheater he thinks, "I'm a liar, but that's not as bad as being a cheater." What do you think the cheater is thinking? Those of us who have never betrayed our marriage vows are quick to judge those that have, but aren't we guilty of sins equally as bad?
James 2:10
10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
[12.45]
Let us think about the plank in our own eye before trying to deal with the splinter in our brother's eye. If we expect God's forgiveness in our own life maybe we should be cautious about withholding it from another.
Matthew 6:14-15
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
[12.46]
Focusing On The Exception
In Matthew, the sixth chapter and the thirty second verse, Jesus says, “Whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”
[12.47]
We must examine both statements contained in this text to truly understand the intent of Jesus' instructions. First, He says that if any man divorces his wife for any other reason than fornication, he causes her to commit adultery. Why? We might begin to understand this if we look at what 1 Corinthians, chapter seven, verse five has to say about depriving one another of the natural sexual use of each other's body. From this verse it is obvious that any man depriving his wife in this way places her in a position where she is vulnerable to satanic temptation through weakened self control brought about by her unsatisfied sexual appetite.
[12.48]
Any Christian brother who divorces his wife for any reason other than fornication will be sending her away, alone and unattended. Because fornication was not the reason for the divorce, the couple, in the eyes of God, are still married even though their divorce is recognized by the civil authorities.
As a result of this unauthorized divorce, the husband has deprived his wife of the normal sexual attention and affection due her as provided in God’s word.
1 Corinthians 7:3-4
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
The husband’s failure to grant this God given right to his wife may cause her to fall to temptation thus the husband may share responsibility for this sin as well.
[12.49]
Anyone but the husband who steps in, taking advantage of her weakness to satisfy his own desires, commits adultery because in God's eyes she's still married. If the subject couple has divorced for any reason other than fornication (infidelity) it is not accepted, for God recognizes no divorce except for the cause of fornication. This same standard applies when it is the man who is cast aside. We have no scriptural authority to divide or separate what God has joined together (Matthew 19:6). Once again, all divorce in God's eyes is unacceptable except for the cause of fornication.
[12.50]
Let's take a look at the second part of this statement; the part dealing with one who marries a divorced woman. We must once again, realize that no woman or man is truly divorced in God's eyes except for the cause of fornication (infidelity) and thus fornication (infidelity) must be fully explored to see what effects it has on this situation if, in fact, it is the cause of the divorce. If the marriage is lawfully broken, then it was broken for the cause of fornication (infidelity) and no other, for God recognizes no other. If the marriage was broken by fornication, the couple is truly divorced, it's recognized by God and has been fully dissolved by Him. If the marriage has been fully dissolved by God then the parties involved are free to marry again, thus if anyone marries one who has been divorced for any reason other than fornication, the result is adultery because the divorce has not been recognized by God. On the other hand, if any one marries one who is divorced because of fornication there is no resulting sin on the part of either because the divorce was recognized by God. You may wish to review again the Greek definition of the word "divorce." It is as though we were able to spiritually "let die" the one who committed the act of adultery. This serves to answer the question Romans seven, verses two and three raises as well. We are bound to the law of marriage unless loosed from it by God through adultery.
[12.51]
Once again, God was married to Israel but when Israel committed spiritual fornication (adultery) by going after other gods, God divorced her and took another wife i.e. the church (Jeremiah 3:8). If fornication does not justify divorce then God's marriage to the church is invalid, then all of the spiritual children born through this relationship are bastards and have no claim on the spiritual inheritance of Christ. Thank God this, by His grace, is not so.
Galatians 4:7
7 Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.
[12.52]
Many try to minimize the exception given by Christ in this text (Matthew 5:32) but the word of the Lord is the word of the Lord. Who is he that would seek to change it and to what end? Do we truly want to change God's word or twist it to fit our own convictions? If we do, won't we do so at the peril of our own destruction as stated below?
2 Peter 3:16
16 As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction.
[12.53]
Some of those who read this will say, "By forgiving divorce for the cause of fornication don't we encourage more of the same?" When we forgive the thief, do we encourage theft? When we forgive the liar, do we encourage deceit? When we forgive violence, do we encourage the violent? Should we turn our backs on the repentant as a means of discouraging sin? We all have seen many whose productive Christian lives have risen from the ashes of sin and divorce. One of those who repeatedly fell into the sin of adultery and rose to live a fruitful spiritual life was a certain Samaritan woman who, on one hot day, drew a cup of cold water from Jacob's well to satisfy the thirst of a certain Jew named Jesus; she had been married five times. God was not through with her and He's not through with anyone who will call upon His name. God delights in using broken things.
Psalms 51:17
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
Matthew 12:20
20 A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench, till he send forth judgment unto victory.
[12.54]
The Samaritan woman came to Jesus as a bruised reed and received the healing and forgiving power of living water. She left Him with a broken and contrite heart and pointed out the way to Jesus, to her entire community. Was her life worth while? Did Jesus condemn her or use her just the way she was? May God grant to each of us the same heart of forgiveness and grace that Jesus had.